Cricket in India

Just when you think you get a handle on Indians and start to enjoy yourself, they throw something else in your face.

I paid 500 rupees for a seat at the match between the Mumbai Indians and the Bangalore Royal Challengers. My mistake was getting to Wank-a-day stadium 1/2 an hour before the match. Somehow about 1000 too many tickets were sold for the stand I was in. I had a seat number but there were no numbers on the benches. People who came late or couldn't get a seat were crammed into the aisles, moshpit style. Within five minutes my clothes were wet with sweat. I couldn't move at all. Outside the crowd somewhere, a cricket match was going on. My glasses started fogging up.

At half time I went to a drinks stand. This was the first time in a while I felt, well, superior. There were about 10 people in 'queue' at any one time, all desperately pushing and shoving to hold out their money to the drinks guy, yelling out "boss, boss" and making a kissy noise with their lips which I think is a call for attention in India. They'd come out soaked, sweaty, sore and tired.

Cricket in India is insane, people are over the top, go see a match but get there early.